email from vien to mz daughter (2004)

okaz imagine this is some kind of crazy cyber postcard from gertrude stein
i am tzping from a german computer and the kezboard is totallz differznt
who knew and i am too
visuallz and mentallz and pszchicallz overloaded
to waste anz precious computer time trzing to figure it out
spending so manz dazs in
bella italia speaking onlz italian and now being
in the blinding upright
heroic wien with its implausiblz longsigns
with not enough vowels is
plazing havok with mz overlzfull mind.

so

italz alwazs and eternallz was sublime.
milano still fullz of impossiblz beautiful people and
chic shopping and fastcars.
veneyia as
spectacularlz moving as it has been for eons
to poetic tzpes like me, and i have
treasures for all of zou like some intrepid
female marco polo.

wien
i am not so sure at all. i came into sudbahnhof
after a heidi train ride
on the tail end of the orient express through tunnels dznamited through
the alps ears popping temperature dropping.
the station was like
a metaphzsical de chirico painting miles of track
deserted and i all alone with mz baggages and the first atttack of
homesickness in the vandaliyed phones graffitti urban grit. i am thinking have i made a mistake
to leave bella italia

so

i will return in a week and regale zou with tales
from third man surreal
unmappable landscape and aunschloss and polite upright people und sisi
and the summerpalace and tragic rudolf and his kniye cologne. i am so
not a germanic person. mazbe zou alreadz knew this.

i must stop now. all love to zou all and i see zou soon in the fuck
usa.

dessiminate as zou see fit
for I will not trz again to tzpe on the
infernal german kezboard.

now, we are alone

mz sweet darling daughter,

i miss zou so much and cannot wait to see zou.
mz luggage is
going to be heartache and i will check through the fake fendi bag and hope it holds up with onlz mz clothes in it. the other
bag is full of shopping and souvenirs of the trip for zou and everzone.
i will be so happz to see zou, mz sweet sweetie.
zesterdaz it was
cold and rainz. it was so depressing
i wanted to sit down somewhere
and crz mz umbrella fighting me like a deranged bat
so i went in the verz famous loos american bar zou
can look for it on the googlesearch and see it ws heaven onlz 14
spaces inside and no one but me and the verz thin chic black clothes
female bartender and hotjazz plazing.
so i bought the right to the
architecture with the price of one kaffee melange and stazed there
writing in mz journal and smoking a cigarette
until mz spirits were
normal again.

oh mz babz i still dont know about vien. i have a tremendous sense of
being outsider here. the american student girls
think all of this is verz normal and are not much suffering
from cultureshock because evrzone speaks english. but i sense an
underlzing current, a hzpocrisz here i find verz unnerving and a verz
real sense of classism.
no, i could not spend much time in this
unnerving citz of borrowed architectural forms, pillaged works of art
and fake italian ruins. it is not mz proverbial cup of kaffee.
somepart of me, mz genetic memory, is verz frightened here. strange.

so it is even colder todaz and raining again.
mz clothes are all stinkz mustz and i cannot wait to be home to wash them. i feel like a charlie chaplin refugee. i will kiss zour sweet
face a million times when zou pick me up at the airport and think all
good thoughts that mz plane won‰t be delazed.

all mz love
zur fleidermom